15 Funniest Vagina Euphemisms
While men tend to give their penis an odd and sometimes inappropriate nickname, women tend to avoid such nonsense. And since men likely provided the following naming conventions, and we think they're pretty funny, here are your top vagina euphemisms.
Avoiding the prominent box, beaver, pussy, snatch, cooch, cooter, muff, flower, twat, and cunt. Because while you can stick a vibrator, dildo, or benwa balls up there, you need to respect your lady bits.
Beef Curtain - Originally a farming term when inseminating a cow with semen, someone got creative, and this term made its way into popular culture.
Pink Taco - Hot sauce not included; this pink taco is ripe for eating but won't fill you up. Camel Toe - No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog, but if your leggings are tight, you might be showing off your camel toe.
Hair Pie - Not as sweet as cherry pie, but equally delicious. As a bonus, it's very low in calories.
Fuzzy Doughnut - Don't be surprised by the cream-filled center! Zero calories!
Meat Massager - If you like your massage below the belt, keep your junk in the front.
Snail Trail - This is the perfect appetizer for your foreplay round of sex!
Wizard Sleeve - Not sure what guy believes that his penis is magical enough to earn that nickname, but if the name fits, wear it.
Lady Garden - Every woman should tend her garden to keep it well-manicured.
Bearded Clam - Another terrific ingredient for any recipe that includes seriously delicious delicacies!
Penis Garage - If you find a woman who lets you park your johnson in her penis garage, then you're one lucky dude.
Bikini Bizkit - I'm not sure how a bizkit and a bikini somehow have to do with a vagina, but props for unusual spelling.
Penis Fly Trap - I'm not sure this is meant as a compliment. I mean, referring to your lady parts as an insect-eating plant is a tad unbecoming, but it is really funny.
Hot Pocket - Not to be confused with the unhealthy but popular snack, this hot pocket is a handy place to keep your head on cold days.
VaJayJay - Some talk show hosts couldn't use one of the hundreds of existing vagina euphemisms and came up with is ridiculous name.
Cock Sheath - While most weapons should be kept safe and out of the reach of children, if your man meat is exceptional enough to be considered a weapon, then you may use the cock sheath.